Faith Centered Coaching For Gay Christian Men
A Safe Place To Work Out Your Unique Painful Bind Between A Heart Set On Things Above And One's Authenticity
Hello! I’m Robert Brinton, a life coach who provides guided support for gay Christian men. I have 12 years of experience as a Licensed Mental Health Psychotherapist. I hold a Bachelor’s degree in Communications from California State University, Chico, and a Master’s in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. I founded Faith Centered Coaching For Gay Christian Men, operating under the business name Concord Teletherapy, because I recognize the significant number of solid men who are in desperate need of compassionate and relational self-exploration.
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⚪ A BRIEF OVERVIEW OF MY ECLECTIC INFLUENCES ON COACHING
Coaching You Through Your Unique Binds
I am familiar with the unique journey that many gay Christian men face as they "wrestle" to try and reconcile their faith with their adult-engaged, consensual attraction.
Genisis 32:24-28 describes the wrestling match between Jacob and "a man" who blessed him, So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, 'It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.'
I Feel Called
to create a nurturing environment where you can express yourself freely and explore your unique challenges without fear of judgment. My education and professional experiences in both institutional and private practice have equipped me to develop a diverse range of therapeutic approaches. My goal is to help individuals reduce self-contempt and foster a more positive view and treatment of their unique humanity.
As a relational life coach, I am passionate about empowering others to lead fulfilling lives grounded in love, acceptance, and authenticity.
I Am A Natural Relational Life Coach
This helps you establish a more meaningful interpersonal connection to get to know yourself better.
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⚪ NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN / YOU ARE IN GOOD COMPANY
"There is literraly nothing new that has come to pass here on earth" this means the phrase can be used to describe situations where what we are experiencing seems new, but is actually not. that all of a person's activity during their lifetime is lost in the grander scheme of things and will soon be forgotten often referencing this Bible verse:
"What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun." Ecclesiastics 1:9
Coaching You Through Your Unique Life Binds
I have a personal interest in the history of men loving men, which predominantly influences my male-centered coaching approach.
We must acknowledge
that gay Christian individuals have always been vital to history, and their contributions cannot be overlooked. Highlighting figures like Leonardo da Vinci, Alan Turing, and James Baldwin, to name a few, will help create a more accurate and inclusive awareness of our past.
“The Last Supper: is a mural painting by the Italian High Renaissance artist Leonardo da Vinci.
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Buried Nose To Nose
In ancient societies, there was no distinction made between same-sex and opposite-sex couples as both were equally acceptable. The terms 'homosexual' and 'heterosexual' are modern constructs of the 19th century, coined by the Austrian writer Karl-Maria Kertbeny.
The biblical text does not clearly define the relationship between David and Jonathan. Traditionally, it has been seen as one of platonic love and homosociality, but some scholars since the late Middle Ages have highlighted elements of homoeroticism in their story.
“Henri Nouwen” by Br. Robert Lentz.
“ . . . We are not what others think of us. Coming home is claiming the truth. I am the beloved child of a loving Creator. We no longer have to beg for permission from the world to exist.”
Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen
was a Dutch Catholic priest, professor, writer, and theologian focused on psychology, pastoral ministry, spirituality, social justice, and community. He was significantly influenced by Anton.
Boisen, Thomas Merton, Rembrandt, Vincent van Gogh, and Jean Vanier. Nouwen wrestled with his sexuality, leading to self-doubt and private discussions with close friends, though he never publicly identified as homosexual. In The Return of the Prodigal Son, he reflects on a friendship that ultimately harmed him, resulting in depression and a quest for self-esteem. Biographer Michael Ford addressed these themes in his posthumous biography, Wounded Prophet.
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⚪ ADDITIONAL SUPPORT FROM OTHER JOURNEYS
"The breaking of bread" can hold various interpretations. It can highlight the early church's practice of breaking bread as part of their fellowship ( or sharing life journeys ) along with the literal action of breaking of bread for nourishment in referencing these Bible verses:
All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts." Acts 2:44-46
Journey To Journey Additional Support
I provide Support for those of any age in "Coming Out" This monumental unique life event is better navigated with another.
It Was Different At Church
being gay was just never really brought up. The annual talk on relationships – or a whole teaching series if we were lucky – was predictably heteronormative. I was aware that a good Christian guy shouldn’t go too far with his girlfriend, but the idea that he might have a boyfriend didn’t even seem to be an option.
Between the disregard of the church and the oppression of school, the feelings that I had towards others of the same sex were buried so deeply I’d forgotten where I hid them.
In time, I was gradually able to come to terms with the reality that my feelings were not anomalies, and they were not going to go away, no matter how much I wanted them to. I was gay. And I had to tell someone.
BEYOND BELIEF
Webpage populated with stories of Gay Christians telling their unique journeys as humans finding their way.
Beyond Belief is a list of pod casts for Gay Christians
To read entire article click black dot
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
There are a variety of voices in the community that are as unique as you are. Exploring these perspectives, in the presence of a thoughtful and fully present ear, may help you find what speaks to you.
"Side A" and "side B"
language was developed to serve gay Christians across divides. It was meant to facilitate fruitful dialogue and to be able to talk about each other without demonizing each other.
For Christians
who hold a "traditional sexual ethic," spaces for solidarity and support should be grounded in a list of key positions
that hold space to ground and manifest those positions in different ways. We need to keep in mind that we're all part of a developing conversation. The language should
change and develop to serve us, rather than the other way around. When the language serves to divide and marginalize, it's time for a change.
Chris Damian Aug 09, 2022
To read entire article click black dot
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
As a coach, I help to create a sacred, nonjudgmental space for individuals to navigate their unique, God-designed journeys. Pieter has been called to inform churches about inclusive families for single LGBT+ people of faith.
After My Commitments I Got The Ceremony Recording
I ended up procrastinating until the night before my 1-year anniversary (a whole year), but
finally forced myself to watch the recording, bracing myself for grief and anger.
Instead,
I was filled with hope.
Then my 1-year anniversary celebration deepened that hope. I couldn't have made it through the past year without my brothers and friends. Their hugs and potluck prayers reminded me that many people are rooting for us the Nashville Family Of Brothers.
Thank you for your tenderness and support!
And God, thank You for giving me a family of my own.
Long before I was born, the brokenness of this world conspired to keep people like me from experiencing Your love through human family.
But a year ago You changed that, and a year later, I'm still blessed beyond my wildest dreams.
Pieter L Valk LPC, Helping Christians love LGBT+ people & celibate Christians build family @NFOB @Equip
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Schedule an appointment with FAITH CENTERED COACHING FOR GAY CHRISTIAN MEN. Sessions include a variety of options: Reserve your first teletherapy coaching appointment for $135.00, then consider a follow-up on whatever additional available dates or for as many times per month you desire at JUST $85 PER MEETING.
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
Uniquely designed myself, as a gay man and life coach, I recognize the wisdom of God in fostering thought-provoking relationships with couples. My "Modern Kinships."
What Is Modern Kinship
It is important to acknowledge that the experince and beliefs of LGBTQ couples are as diverse as the queer community itself.
We could never speak for all of us. We write through the lens of our experince as gay men who believe
marriage is a monogamous lifelong relationship that has been cemented through a public act of commitment. Some will challenge our beliefs or our ways of approaching relationship, and we welcome diverging opinions. Our story is one way of doing relationship. (kinship)
We hope to touch upon the universal truths of contemporary relationship, regardless of fatih tradition or sexual orientation.
Snipit from book By David Khalaf (Author), Constantino Khalaf (Author), Rachel Held Evans (Foreword)
Get book click black dot
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
No matter where you might find yourself or what you are wrestling with I coach other image barriers of God from the unique example of the entire person of Jesus Christ "For the greatest of these is love!"
As You Read
you will discover three of the most important life lessons that 70 years as a gay Christian have taught me.
1. Love Wins
Let’s begin with the absolute most important reality: Jesus is love. Jesus extends love to all humans. And Jesus personally loves you — exactly as you are.
No one needs to prove themselves to Jesus to receive His love.
He accepts all and is especially keen on hanging out with the marginalized. More often than not, Jesus was with the homeless, the hungry, the physically disabled, the spiritually possessed, and the “sinners” — those who were in need of a friend.
those who were in need of a friend.
In other words, people like you and me.
I have every confidence that if
Jesus walked this earth today, he would
comfort the LGBTQ community, the Black Americans, the women, and everyone else who is oppressed.
There is only one group of people whom Jesus would rebuke: the self-righteous hypocrites who believe they are superior to others. Such people love to quote scriptures yet fail to come to the very source of the Word. They put burdens on the backs of the marginalized and do not lift a finger to help.
Mike Rosebush, PhD Published in GAYoda
Entire article click black dot
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
Because I am also someone whose life has been disrupted by the faith-vs.-authenticity bind, I consider myself uniquely "gifted" to aid brothers whose existence has been sidelined by a similar wrenching bind.
Justin Lee is author of Torn.
To obtain Justin's book click black dot
The Truth Is That
Christians have been concerned that our culture’s rethinking of gender and sexuality is leading people away from biblical teraching and God’s will for their lives. But that’s not the whole story. Whatever views they might hold on same-sex marriage or sexual behavior, I don’t know any Christians who want that to be the primary thing the church is known for.
But how do we fix it?
it's easy to say that we shouldn’t have a gay-vs.-Christians mindset. What’s much harder is to determine what we should do. Some churches and denominations have publicly moved to affirm gay people and same-sex relationships, sparking concerns that they’re abandoning scriptural truth to appease a fallen world. Others have pushed back, standing firm in opposition to homosexuality while attempting to be more loving in their approach, but critics charge that this talk of love too often rings hollow in practice, leaving many people feeling isolated in their own churches.
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Schedule an appointment with FAITH CENTERED COACHING FOR GAY CHRISTIAN MEN. Sessions include a variety of options: Reserve your first teletherapy coaching appointment for $135.00, then consider a follow-up on whatever additional available dates or for as many times per month you desire at JUST $85 PER MEETING.
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
Another challenge gay men of faith experience is the complex journey of deconstructing one's Christian religious conditioning and rebuilding it into something meaningful and authentic.
Your Faith Is No Longer What It Used To Be
and you can’t ignore it anymore. You’ve lost trust in the institutions that your faith produce–its buildings, its movements, its heroes. You’ve lost trust in the traditions that shaped you. You’ve lost trust in yourself. You are burnt out, and you are starting at the crumbling walls, wondering if there’s even anything behind them.
And you are not alone.
Reconstruct Your Faith is a book about spiritual formation, which is not simply going to chur, reading the Bible, and praying more, as you may have been taught. Spiritual formation is the unburdening of an exhasted heart so that it can beautiful than you could have imagined. As more and more Christians are called to “deconstruct” their faith, Reconstruct Your
Faith will help guide you through your journey of asking big
questions about big
things so that you can understand how–and when–to build that
faith back.
In this book, author and pastor Kevin Young shares the vulnerable, gut-wrenching story of his own dark night of the
soul, where he
watched his own faith nearly crumble as he deconstructed beliefs that once defined him. His words are an
essential resource for any like him; they are a chart for navigating the waters of religious doubt and frustration. Drawing on teachings and ancient spirituality lessons from the early Christian.
Forward of Dr. Kevin M. Young's book Reconstructing Your Faith
Get Kevin's Book click black dot
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Journey to Journey Additional Support
I also provide life coaching for gay Christian men in MOM relationships, as well as couples coaching, by guiding individuals to navigate the heartbreaking challenging dynamics of a relationship disrupted by withheld authenticity.
My focus is on supporting those struggling with this deeply troubling bind by co-creating a space that emphasizes openness and honesty, valuing what all are going through, and helping bring about shalom for the future.
Gay Husband, Straight Wife: The Hidden Realities Life lessons of a loving gay Christian. Mike Rosebush, PhD Published in GAYoda
"Mixed Orientation Marriages"
(MOM) among evangelical Christians stand an opportunity to flourish or fail miserably. I was in a MOM for 41 years — separated only by my wife’s death from cancer. Additionally, I have mentored hundreds of evangelical men who possess same-sex attraction (SSA) and are married to a straight evangelical wives.
Gay husbands in a MOM who view their attraction as “bad” (i.e., sinful, disordered)
possess low self-esteem. They attempt to eliminate all vestiges of their gay sexuality, only to discover that
their attractions never cease. I have viewed many evangelical Christian gay husbands who loathe themselves. As an aftereffect, such gay men feel compelled to engage in binging homoeroticism. It seems that a gay man constantly punishes himself over thoughts and behaviors that he views as immoral or disordered. Life for such men is a torturous process.
For more click black dot
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
MOM is one of the most uniquely traumatizing binds gay men and thier partners of faith can face. Together, we can bring relief to your agony.
At a 2016 TEDx talk with former wife, Luanne Nightingale called Choosing Gratitude and Hope. The Nightingales told their story of a mixed-orientation marriage that evolved their understanding of faith and sexuality and the painful but necessary choice of divorce, all within the context of gratitude and hope.
For TEDx talk click black dot
Matt Nightingale was married to
a woman for 23 years and has four children. He understands the complexities of exploring one’s sexual orientation within the context of a “straight” marriage, especially as a Christian. He does not necessarily believe there is one “right” path forward in these situations, and is driven to others to clarify their values and needs in light of their understanding of faith and morality. He believes that
many people in mixed-orientation marriages do choose to divorce and come out of the closet, but he is also aware that some choose to stay and be authentically themselves in the context of their heterosexual marriage. Every journey is different, every story is valuable, and every decision is valid.
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Schedule an appointment with FAITH CENTERED COACHING FOR GAY CHRISTIAN MEN. Sessions include a variety of options: Reserve your first teletherapy coaching appointment for $135.00, then consider a follow-up on whatever additional available dates or for as many times per month you desire at JUST $85 PER MEETING.
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
Those who are living according to their calling, shepherding a flock of the faithful as gay men, can be the most in need of a safe honest space to be authentic.
PHOTO to right: Matt Bays w/Husband
Matt Bays is a speaker, life coach and author. "Finding God in the Ruins," "Leather & Lace.” and a compelling podcast, ”How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man,”
Read more, click link.
“I need to ask you a question”
he told me.
It was 2015. I was a 44-year-old pastor. My desk was cluttered with set lists for the upcoming church series. That weekend, I was to sing “Beautiful Things” by Michael Gungor — a song I adored. It promised I could be new. There was nothing I wanted more.
“Are you gay, Matt?”
There it was. It surprised me, but I was strangely calm. It was a question I hadn’t been asked since college. A question I’d been haunted by since junior high. The words coursed through my body looking for an answer — an answer I owed only myself.
I was searching for answers, even though answers weren’t what I needed. Freedom was what I needed.
For article click black dot
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
My calling is to help gay men find their unique way. Some will follow an inner compass and make a major journey reroute. If this is you, you also need a safe place to plot your way.
To add another layer to my doubts
and questions, I had come out as gay at the age of eighteen. This initial period served as a space for self-acceptance and opening up to those around me.
Studying both sides of the debate led me to the uncomfortable conclusion that God didn’t seem too keen on same-sex relationships. I went through various
phases of deciding I would live a single life, but each recommitment rang hollower than the last. It just didn’t seem to make sense. Why would God place this arbitrary restriction on mine and many others’ lives without a clear reason?
As things began to crumble in the final years of my faith
I scoured through Mike Licona’s six-hundred-
page epic on the historicity of the resurrection, hoping for a lifeboat in the storm. Maybe there were some cold, hard facts of history
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that I could cling to. His argument was very systematically set out and presented a thought-provoking case, but its interpretative nature and the sheer distance of the events it was discussing left me underwhelmed. It gave me little confidence in Christianity when set against the Bible’s all-too-human, unflattering vision of God.
Logan Walker studied theology at the London School of Theology and Durham University, and is currently working in communications. He blogs about his journey of leaving the faith.
For article click black dot
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Journey To Journey Additional Support
This wonderful artistic publication is a delightful diversion for those from eight to eighty. This creation is an impactful way of reflecting on the journey we are all on.
The Boy is Lonely
when the mole first surfaces. They
spend time together gazing into the wild. I think the wild is a bit like life – frightening sometimes but beautiful.
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It's Never Going to be Easy Meeting a Fox if You Are a Mole
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In their wanderings, they meet the fox. It's never going to be easy meeting a fox if you're a mole.
The Boy is Full of Questions,
the mole is greedy for cake. The fox is mainly silent and wary because he has been hurt by life.
The horse is the biggest thing they have ever encountered and also the gentlest.
They are all different, like us, and each has their own weaknesses.
Charlie Mackesy is the author and illustrator of The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. Published in 2019 by Harper One.
To experience the book click black dot
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MANY MORE UNIQUE JOURNEYS TO COME
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⚪ LOVE ONE'S SELF / THEN ANOTHER / THIS COACH'S STORY
"The greatest of these is love." Jesus was instructing his followers to demonstrate a radical, self-sacrificing love towards each other, similar to the love he showed them, essentially, by loving one another deeply, people would recognize them as followers of Christ referencing one of such Bible verses:
Jesus said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" He also said, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" John 13:34-35.
Today, My Journey Finds Me As A Life Coach
but I started my career journey as a graphic designer. Our lives, in the hands of our Lord, hold more surprises than we can possibly imagine.
During My Elementary School
years, I began to realize that my sensitive nature was not well received by most of my peers. My low self-esteem progressed into Junior High, awkwardly I became increasingly aware of new natural sensations stirring- within my young body.
Although I did not come from a religious family, I chose to attend a variety of "church sanctuaries" starting at the age of seven, I soon began practicing ways of trying to hide my true personality. Moving into the college years It was more obvious of what I was trying to hide. But religious conditioning and vow of "celibacy" continued into my early fifties. Throughout my
faith journey, I sensed a calling that aligned with Christ's act of washing the feet of others. This example realigned my self-doubt and devoutly influenced my pursuit of a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology. Living more authentically, counseling transitioned to life coaching in order to be able to accept more invitations by Christian men globally.
It is perhaps the most iconic of all photographic images. Eadweard Muybridge‘s running man conjures up the idea of photography. It has captured a moment out of its specific time into all time. Running man is an instantly recognized symbol of what it is to be human.
Take Your Next
Step & Reserve Your Appointment Today!
I offer a variety of options: Reserve your first teletherapy coaching apt. for $139.95, then consider a follow-up on whatever additional dates per month you desire at JUST $85 PER MEETING.
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UNIQUE T-SHIRT
My coaching modality emphasizes the DEVINE UNIQUE CREATION THAT YOU ARE!
I have found this reminder to be so impactful that I created this FREE T-shirt for you after experiencing an initial session at a cost of $135.00
Psalm 139:13-14: "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."
This T-shirt sample shows the logo, a rainbow colored leaf in the center, and the Psalm 139:14 scripture. "Fearfully and wonderfully made" refers to the care and attention with which God creates humans and has specific meanings in Hebrew.
Fearfully: Means with great reverence, heart-felt interest, and with respect.
Wonderfully: Means unique and set apart.
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IF YOU ARE THINKING OF HARMING YOURSELF – CLICK HERE . . .
Get immediate support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the US: socialworkers.org/Practice/LGBTQIA2S/LGBTQIA2S-Crisis-Hotlines
COMMENTS FROM THOSE SUPPORTED
Robert helped me to see the lies that I was telling myself sometimes. The words that I was saying were not beneficial and were tearing me down. Lies are the enemies' most powerful tactic.
John
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In the time I have known Robert, I have found him to be one who listens to what I am saying and uses his unique set of skills to discern when I am overlooking a key piece of the puzzle whether it be in my family of origin or current state of life. His honesty in sharing insights based on his education as it pertains to life has been a huge help. By doing so, I am learning to believe in myself and am also able to find my own vocabulary and language and use it to effectively communicate within relationships both at work and in my personal life.
Garry
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